blog

Day 23

2011-03-01T23:13:00.000-08:00

Core Synergistics

Three words: OH MY GOSH.

Today was the first time I ever did Core Synergistics completely and all I really have to say is; David Huda, you are right. This work-out kicked my bootay! For sure. Today was also a very stressful day to start off with this exercise though. I didn't want to do this workout back at my apartment and since I was heading home today, I thought I would save this work-out when I got home. Well, I got home around 8:30pm and my mom was still watching her chinese drama which ended around 9:30. Yeah, I couldn't believe it, I had to start p90x today at 9:30pm. It sucked, I almost didn't want to pop in the DVD and head straight to bed. My contacts were bugging me too! I think its because I slept with them on the night before so I just kept rubbing and blinking my eyes in the beginning of the work-out. Oh, and the last thing that I can't forget to mention: It's that time of the month for me. So that meant random cramps at the most pivotal moments. Yeah, I don't even know how i lasted through 60 minutes of this.

For some weird reason, I really love those banana rolls. I LOVE them! Whenever they pop up on the screen, I get really excited. Those bow to boats are quite simliar too, and I also enjoy them, but not as much as the banana roll ups. These really work your core though, I can actually feel them by the end of the work-out. Alright, all I gotta say is that I won't make it if were to ever be thrown in jail because those Prison Cell-Push ups kill me!!! Really, they really do. I honestly believe its just way too fast for me. I mean you literally have to do a really quick push-up, pull your left knee to your chest, do another push up, pull your right knee to your chest, do ANOTHER push-up and then jump back up and reach your hands to the air-- in a matter of seconds! Seriously, what the heck!? I was in so much pain doing this one I wanted to quit.

I really, really, REALLY enjoyed steam engine. This particular work-out not only WORKS you, but by the end of the time period your legs are just burning! In a very good way. This exercise is simple enough for you to do plenty and feel that lovely burn! By the way, I honestly, 100 percent believe that I was given a sign today during my work out session. Basically I've been given all these obstacles, preventing me from having an easy workout, such as the things I mentioned earlier and something extra. I don't know why, but the DVD was going crazy today! It would literally stop in a middle of an exercise and I would just be left hanging in the middle of a work-out staring at the screen. Typically, I would get frustrated and just use this opportunity as an excuse for me to jump into the shower and forget about the work-out. Basically quit. But despite all these obstacles that are really hindering me from performing my best one single thought passed into my mind. 'Damn, this is the part of the relationship that is rocky as hell and I'm suppose to not only stick by it, but work harder.' And I literally did just that. the parts of the video that completely froze and the time was just frozen on the screen, I kept on going. That must mean that I did more than the allotted number of sets given for each exercise. I did more than i should. I had to do more and beyond because if i didn't, i would be a hypocrite and I hate being one. There was also part of the video where the audio just completely disappeared so I had to really concentrate on the screen to follow the moves given that it is my first time. But through thick and thin, I was able to make it through and it felt really, incredibly wonderful. Especially knowing that things were going downhill and instead of being affected by the situation, I worked against it and ended in a good note.

It's so strange and interesting how my 60 minutes of work-out time relate so much to my life in a whole. I am learning life-skills while working out. Seriously, what a gift. Anyway, I'm really glad I was able to finish that work-out by myself! Tomorrow is Yoga yet again. I'm going to ask my mom to join me now that I am back home! Can't wait!

xoxo, Kris

done playing games

2010-07-15T08:56:00.001-07:00

It's been a while since i've last blogged and it feels pretty good to open this sucka up and writing down how I'm feeling.

Summer's has it's good and bad qualities. The good? Nothing to really worry about since I have no commitments this Summer...The bad is that since I have nothing to keep me busy, my feelings and emotions start attacking me.

Why do I sometimes feel as if i have to play games in order to feel as if I have to have control over the situation? I hate playing games and i really want to be myself. But when I act like myself, I feel that the other person doesn't appreciate it.

Sometimes I think, Is it selfish to be yourself? Would I be self-centered to be entirely myself and do what I want and act the way I want with no regards of others? My parents would always scold me and say that I would be selfish in that aspect, but if I don't act myself then how would people learn who I really am? I admit that there are qualities of myself that I need to work on but would changing these qualities change me?

I'm tired of being the only one trying, and when I stop trying, I don't feel right or myself. Life is really just unfair. Or perhaps im being selfish.

I have no idea what I want, and I wish that I could talk to somebody who's unbiased in my opinions and wont judge..

2010-02-25T18:18:00.001-08:00

i still like you..

two more!

2008-12-08T17:45:00.000-08:00

two more finals to go! i am so occupied this week, and i really think min was right. i think i have an anxieiy problem when it comes to school. Even after taking the final, i don't feel good about myself because i have to MAKE SURE that i got an A in the class. I am really not proud of myself for this quality because i feel like my heart is beating 50275925 times a minute and that any second, it will fall out. I seriously tend to stress out SO much, and sometimes over NOTHING. or things that i cannot do anything about. I'm currently calculating my grade for Maynard's class!! I'm so glad that during the winter, im only taking one class. Seriously, i have more time for myself finally instead of rushing into things.

i already planned out what i'm going to do AFTER finals. And after i find out what i have in each of my classes. I'm going to reward myself by going to the nail salon and doing my nails. And get a foot scrub. Sigh, i can't wait for this week to be over. Oh yeah, i'm even sacrificing my time right now to do homework instead of painting my nails since my friend let me borrow one of her nail polish! Oh yeah Min! I still have your orange nail polish!! (I know you're probably reading this right now)

Three more days of STUDYING and i'm done. I really really cannot wait (=

P.S. After this, i'm also going straight to the movie theaters to watch Twilight. Yay!

finals

2008-12-06T22:46:00.000-08:00

one more week! UGHHHHH finalssssss. It kills me to even think about that word.

Today after work, i went over to the Cal Poly Library to study with Nancy and i must say, they're library is really nice. I'm actually planning on studying at that library from now on.

My room is extremely messy, but i don't have time to clean it until next week. I can't wait for this week to be over!!

over it

2008-11-24T23:26:00.001-08:00

The 30 day pact has officially been enforced today at the Hacienda Heights Guppies. To witness my remarkable turning over of a new leaf are my girlfriends, Min, Sarah and Ashley. Let's test how much i value my dignity and whether or not this is worth it all that energy invested. Thanks guys for being such bitches in order to get through my thick skull.

Speaking of girlfriends,yesterday was the first time in my life that i got mistaken as a lesbian couple. Min and i got our haircuts at some salon in Brea and my stylist asked if Min was my girlfriend. So funny, yet interesting and weird at the same time.

I'm not really in the mood to blog. I feel so blah

Stress

2008-11-21T13:44:00.000-08:00

Eileen and i have resulted in the strangest way to relieve our stress. Whenever we close together at work, we go into either one of our cars and scream. It's a very interesting process actually, we get into the car, roll up the windows, relax our bodies (very important step) and we both count to three and scream. And surprisingly, it works miracles. And afterwards, we always feel like we're about to conquer the world and take over. The feeling is unexplainable but it gets me by. This simple 30 - 50 second exercise can help relieve the stress that's been building up since 6am this morning. So don't get therapy, that shit doesn't work. Scream. Preferably with a friend. Trust me, it works.

2008-11-15T23:22:00.000-08:00

i haven't blogged for the longest time. I can't wait till this month is over. seriously. a lot of things has been on my mind so this will be a short post.

my mother got a facebook. not a proud thing to say, but i guess it's cute when she asks me how can she write on my wall.

i love my coworkers, honestly their the ones that push me forward.

one of the best days i had in a long time!

2008-11-05T20:07:00.001-08:00

First things first. Today was my daddy's birthday! He's 50 and i love him!! (=

WOW today was such an adventure! I havn't had so much fun in quite a while thanks to Sarah, Ashley, and Min!! Poor Sarah got into a car accident this morning by SOME BITCH (= Ashley and I picked her up from some body shop on Valley, and we got so lost! Finally we found the place and headed over to Chipotle to meet up with everyone since our class got canceled today!! It was a celebration lunch for a canceled class. Afterwards everyone split up and us girls were gonna go to The Shops, but since Sarah didn't have a car we had to go to Enterprise and rent a car! When we got there, she forgot her drivers license so we went over to the Pomona DMV to renew her license. In the process of waiting for her number to be called we headed over to the INDOOR SWAMP MEET. That place is so bomb, and ive never seen anything so amazing in my whole life! Ahh i love it, and i got new shoes!! YEEEEEAH When we went back to the DMV, in our dismay we found out that Sarah's number has already been called.. however, we had a few tricks up our sleeves and Sarah worked her charm and we didn't have to wait that long. Car rides with these girls are CRAZY. I feel like we're gonna get into a car accident at any second because everyone is so LOUD. But i love it! Can't wait until we all get to hang out again.

My car is officially nicknamed the HULK. Credits to Min. (=

More pictures to come!

Happy Halloween!

2008-10-31T23:19:00.000-07:00

I had work on Halloween, and even though i didn't want to work today, i enjoyed passing out candy to adorable kids. I wish i put in more effort this Halloween because i regret not dressing up at work and having a fun time. Although i did have fun playing with little Kyrah and Juan's siblings. I wish i could go back to being a kid so i don't have to worry about anything.

bad day

2008-10-24T12:31:00.000-07:00

It's 12:31pm and im at the Mtsac library waiting for the Economic Summit to start at 1pm. I had a test this morning for Stats and i ended class at 9am. I can't believe i got up at 6am in the morning to get to class by 8am. Waited in the dreadful traffic for thirty minutes to take a test that lasted approximately 30-45 minutes. After the test, i had four hours to spare. I remember siting in my car thinking to myself, what am i going to do in four hours. I thought about going back home, and then the thought of waiting in the stupid traffic again convinced me to go someplace close to school. I ended getting my nails done. Biggest mistake in my life. I have never been so upset and irritated in my life. I don't understand why the ladies that do your nails don't speak English, or maybe they do, and they pretend they don't so they can rip off your money. I felt like i threw 17 precious dollars in the dumpster. I could have bought food with that money, or new clothes. UGHH And this particular nail salon was so rushy. The ladies there were rushing around, and they weren't doing a good job. I kept commenting on how they messed up on a nail and then they would say something else. Since they kept rushing me, I ended messing up my own nails because they asked me to hold my own bag and my nails smeared. I was so pissed and unhappy. I usually leave a big tip but i was so upset that i just left. I wish they would open a nail place that spoke English. Or someone who works there just to translate.

Now i'm stressed about the 17 dollars i wasted.

And i'm breaking out. I really wonder if OCM works.
I also went to Albertsons during this time to look for jojoba oil but i can't find it anywhere! And i'm kind of hesistant on using EVOO on my skin because it's virgin oil used for cooking and i really wonder if this OCM thing works.

I havn't been turbo jamming recently either because of so much school crap to finish.

Today is not a good day. :(

so sad

2008-10-22T00:41:00.000-07:00

I have a test for Busc1AH later on today, since its already 12:41 am and for some strange reason, i feel okay. Usually, i'm freaking out over a test, studying and re-studying, trying to cram everything so i could be prepared. However, i feel pretty relaxed about this test. I think after studying on recession and inflation, i am actually worried about what's going to happen in the next couple of years. I was never one to be interested in the news, and whenever my parents nagged me to watch CNN, i would either roll my eyes or feel their words come out the other ear. However, i think that students should be more aware of what's going on in our society. And spending hours in front of facebook/myspace may be interesting if you're ULTRA concerned with the business of your "friends" on these websites. But really, i think its rather sad that my generation today, is more concerned about Britney Spears' new music video, Womanizer instead of what's going to happen to our economy in the future.

daddy's girl

2008-10-13T19:13:00.000-07:00

It's 4:31pm and i just off of my speech 1a class, i reach down for my cellphone and speed dial home. My dad answers, i ask for my mom. I hear her voice, and i shout out excitedly that i received an A on my speech today. She congratulates me, and then i hear my dad go.. "How come you don't tell me that?"

Hmm..

Speaking from the past, i never really had a real relationship with my dad. I mean, i always dreamed of being a daddy's girl. But for some reason, it was never in the cards for me. I meant to blog on this daddy/daughter morning two days ago, but i never got the time. So, even though it was two days ago, let's recap.

I know this sounds mean, but sometimes i actually enjoy it when my parents are not talking because they're upset with one another. I don't enjoy the fact that my parents are unhappy but i like how whenever they are, they treat my brother and i nicer. Or so to speak, let's rephrase that.. my DAD treats ME differently. And when i mean different, it's a good thing. Saturday morning i wake up to my dad asking me if i could take him to the shop. He didn't want to ask my mom, well of course, because they weren't speaking to one another. Knowing that i really had no other choice, i agreed. We drove separate cars as we dropped off one, and when my dad got into my car, he asked probably in the FIRST time of my life, if i wanted to have breakfast with him. I think i actually paused for a minute, asking myself, did he really ask me that and then even though i had a lot of things to finish i also agreed hoping to achieve that relationship i longed for. It was an exciting moment for me, because i never really got to spend one on one time with my daddy. And even though he criticized my driving on the way i know i can't expect him to change completely. We ate breakfast at Garden Cafe, and i must say, they remodeled quite well. Each booth had mini flat screen TVs. As if Americans weren't addicted to television already, now they have to place it right in our faces as we eat.

My dad and i had quite an interesting conversation. He helped me out a lot on current events that i had to be familiar with for my upcoming speech. I never watched the news in the past so regretfully speaking, i know NOTHING, nada, in current affairs. Sad i know, which is why i made a commitment from now on to actually purchase the newspaper, read the articles and watch prime time news. I know that no matter what, my dad would always be the same. His character and his personality is always serious, talking about things that are only educational but i know his way of telling me about the financial crisis was his way of showing that he loved me. And no matter how much he criticized me, even though the way he says it may be discouraging, i know that he just wants the best for me.

Conversing with my father that Saturday morning also brought to my attention one episode on Samantha Who? when Sam tried to have a relationship with her father only to find her that father didn't really care for one. She knew that her father liked to go hunting so one morning she woke up extra early so she could accompany her dad. And because Sam wanted to actually talk with her dad, waiting patiently for a deer in silence only got her irritated. Sam and her dad gave each other the silent treatment for the next few days. They finally started talking again when Sam had to be picked up at the police station because of a misunderstanding, and expecting her mom to pick her up, her dad showed up instead. In the car, Sam's dad asked if she wanted the radio on and when he turned it on, a song reminded Sam of her mistreatment towards her dad a long time ago when she was a teenager. Her flashback brought back memories of her being embarrassed of her dad picking her up and how emotional she got around her father. Consequently, Sam's dad just decided not to deal with his sweet daughter because he didn't know HOW to get through to her.

This episode really got me thinking to my relationship with my dad. I know that at times, we butt heads because he wants me to be a certain way and i strongly disagree against him. His way of understanding me may be different than the way my mom understands me because he's a guy. And i realized that this beautiful morning spent with my father made really appreciate the things that he has done for me. I only wish that we have more opportunities like these in the near future. He may be condescending at times, but he has a funny side to him and i love him. A LOT.

procrastination is a bitch

2008-10-10T21:52:00.000-07:00

i am so drained..

There is really not enough hours in a day for me to finish everything. I always feel like i haven't done something that is really important by the end of the day and when the morning comes along, i'm behind. AGAIN.

"Procrastination is like masturbation.. At first it feels good, but in the end you're just screwing yourself."

That quote motivates me.

I need more hours in a day! Or some magic pill that can keep me up all night that contains ZERO side effects and unharmful for the human body.

sigh..

Kyrah!

2008-10-05T20:57:00.000-07:00

Before work today, i went to go visit my cousin and my niece at their in-laws's and i had such a fun time playing with little Kyrah! She is now officially four months old and i am in love with her adorable cheeks! When she looks down, her cheeks literally sit on top of her body and sadly, i know I'm going to be that aunt that squeezes her cheeks whenever i see her.

Mommy's giving her a full body massage! Lucky butt.

I wish she was mine!

I wanted her to hold a grape :)

She was exhausted after our playdate!

lots of love

2008-10-01T19:38:00.000-07:00

i think it's awfully strange that my parents are so in sync with the rest of my generation. Today during our PR meeting, we were on the subject of online lingo and how it's so hilarious that none of our parents know that LOL actually means "laugh out loud" and Corrine was actually telling us that her dad always thought LOL meant 'lots of love', hence every time he emailed Corinne's mom he ended each email with lol. Oh gosh, i thought that was the funniest thing on earth. (Corinne don't kill me for posting this up)

But back to the point, after she said that, i just stared into the walls of the news room as i recapped what happened yesterday night..

I usually sleep much later than my parents and the routine is usually pretty mundane taken that we say goodnight and i don't see them until the next morning. However, yesterday i was sitting in the kitchen in front of my laptop, i felt a vibration along the kitchen granite. As i looked down at my blackberry, the named "Daddy" flashed before me.

"Please turn off the hallway light"

Are you serious? Did my parents just text me to do something that they usually yell at me about? Did my parents just text me while we're literally under the same roof? All of a sudden, a mental image of my father sitting on his bed texting me flashed before me.

These are one of those things where you run into your teacher outside of school. It's absolutely absurd and uncomfortable.

One more point.

Although I truly love my job and coworkers, i must clearly say that yogurt chains are driving me to the ground. Yogurt owners and potentially yogurt owners need to desperately understand that fro-yo is not only overrated, it was SO last year.

I need my turbo jam!

2008-09-27T22:17:00.000-07:00

Our little Nemo is dying. Or so we think taken that this is our first fish tank and i've got to admit that taking care of a fish tank can be hard work. My dad thinks that the water in the thank is too hot for the fish and we stare helplessly at Nemo, we can't really do anything expect hope for the best.

Once again, i am behind in school. For some reason, i always do that to myself. I say i'll get ahead but in the end i never do. I need to stop procrastinating!

And just an advice to those who procrastinate like me. Never EVER pull an all nighter and down an entire Monster can as breakfast and speed to school. The results i rather not say.

I don't even have time to Turbo Jam! And that's usually a priority for me.

Maybe this will motivate me..

The sooner I fall behind, the more time I have to catch up. ~Author Unknown

There are a million ways to lose a work day, but not even a single way to get one back. ~Tom DeMarco and Timothy Lister

You may delay, but time will not. ~Benjamin Franklin

Procrastination is opportunity's assassin. ~Victor Kiam

If you want to make an easy job seem mighty hard, just keep putting off doing it. ~Olin Miller

The best way to get something done is to begin. ~Author Unknown

Procrastination is like masturbation. At first it feels good, but in the end you're only screwing yourself. ~Author Unknown

Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin. - Mother Teresa

2008-09-23T08:57:00.001-07:00

Isn't it strange that we never choose who we meet, but we get to choose whether or not to become more than just acquaintances with that particular person? Just a thought on a Tuesday morning while looking down at my avocado croissant.

And it's funny how it's always a surprise. We never know it's coming because if we did, then that would just take the fun out of everything, now would it? And we never really stop to think WHY we had to come across this person. Why him instead of someone else?

This question dates back to my previous entry about reasons. I strongly believe that everything that happens in our life happens for a reason. Because if it didn't, why would we get hurt by that particular person and grow stronger. And why would we have to have a crush on THIS person and learn how to control yourself? Why would we become close friends with someone and learn to appreciate the small things in life?

Self-discipline is a bitch. I'm still in the process of training it to stay. I wish it would just listen to what i have to say, that way i could stop procrastinating.

The difficulties, hardships and trials of life, the obstacles ... are positive blessings. They knit the muscles more firmly, and teach self-reliance. - William Matthews

family day!

2008-09-21T20:40:00.000-07:00

Today was one of the best Sundays i had in a long, long time. I took the day off of work today so i could spend time with family and i can honestly say that i enjoyed every minute of it. We had lunch today with our cousin Jessica because she was visiting from Canada and we haven't seen her in quite a while. Afterwards, my family went shopping and it felt so good for all four of us to finally spend some quality time with one another. There were many crazy moments in the car and the sounds of horrible singing were everywhere! We even went shopping for our fish tank! And luckily we spotted both Nemo and Dory at a fish store and now, the two of them are happily swimming in our fish tank! We had dinner at Guppies and the shaved ice was delicious. Our server Helen gave us the best service, she was really cute and bubbly which made our evening. Today was simple yet contained so many precious moments!

what a cutie!

pass it forward!

2008-09-18T23:20:00.000-07:00

If you're ever at a shopping mall, think about what you see when you first step foot into the building. People with shopping bags, People sitting down eating, and then you see the stores around you that are brightly lit welcoming shoppers into their lair. You'll probably notice the girl on the other side of the mall because she's carrying the pretzel you crave for.

But have you ever noticed those who clean the restrooms or the ones that carry brooms around the mall watching for any potential mess-ups? I think that many of us forget that we have people who clean after us. Whether it's in the public restroom or at the food court.

Today, i was sitting on one of those paid massage chairs located in the Puente Hills Mall. In the corner of my eye i saw someone on a bended knee. As i swung my head around, i was shocked to see an old man cleaning the same massage chairs i was sitting on. We often generalize people who have these jobs that they probably did not have a good education but we often forget that some people aren't as lucky as many of us are.

I havn't been on the website helpothers.org for a long time but i urge everyone to check out the website and engage in random acts of kindness! Reading other people's stories also motivates you to become a better person. So today, before you go to sleep, try to think of doing something nice for someone.

Pass it forward!

choices

2008-09-17T22:09:00.000-07:00

I find it rather pleasant when you don't turn on the radio when you're driving. It never occurred to me that not listening to music actually makes you think. So tonight, when i was driving i just turned off all music and i just drove. It felt strangely relaxing and i even started singing out loud. Even listening to the sound of your car can make you feel good. I think everyone should just turn off the music just to have a peace of mind once in a while.

I'm starting to realize that i can't do any of my homework or study at home. It's because my computer is right in front of me and i automatically turn it on and procrastinate. And then i'm too tired to study and fall asleep on my desk. So i planned out my week accordingly. Mondays and Wednesdays would be my study days. Tuesdays and Thursdays are the days i turbo jam and catch up on anything i missed from Mondays and Wednesdays. Fridays are my break day.

I need to start developing a hobby. Besides shopping. Something that is affordable and wont eat at my paycheck.

At this moment I'm trying to see which scenario will benefit me in the near future.

Straight teeth/ new retainers = $150

Slight gap in teeth with a possibility of getting bigger = 0$

Should i use that $150 towards my school books and have a gap between my teeth for the rest of my life, or use the same amount of money towards new retainers that MIGHT close my gap.

Sigh.. decisions, decisions

not a good day, not a bad day

2008-09-13T21:32:00.000-07:00

It's 9:32pm and i just came back from such a long emotional, yet amazing day. My throat is dry and i lost my voice from just crying and laughing all at the same time. I honestly believe that we meet certain people for a reason. Whether that person is there to make you happy or possibly drive you crazy, they are there because its all part of a gigantic test. And that test is whether or not you can hold yourself through, with these people around you.

Today started off super crappy for me. Woke up with the sound of contractors with their loud machines outside my house and a messy room. My parents were still fighting and my brother was just there. I felt like i was on a set of a movie. Clearly and physically there, but to everyone else, i was either invisible or just a blur. It didn't feel right being in my house especially when i couldn't feel any sense of belonging taken that i am in my own home. The awkward half conversations with both of my parents were driving me insane and i knew i needed to get out. Knowing that i was behind in all my schoolwork i decided to go to the mall early hopefully to get some work done and most importantly, get out of the hell hole i was currently in. Before this, i was cleaning up my room, and i just had all these different feelings welling up inside of me. I really wanted to talk to someone, but for some reason, i didn't know who to talk to. I felt really lost because i wanted to vent to someone but at the same time, i just wanted to bury myself in a hole and never come out.

I'm at the mall, and honestly speaking, i'm not in the mood to do any of my schoolwork. I just didn't have the energy to push myself and i just kept thinking about my parents that i just kept walking around in a blur. Suddenly these two girls come up to me and randomly started talking to me about this group they were part of. Truthfully, in the beginning i wasn't paying attention to them because i was so lost in my own thoughts that i just nodded to whatever they said. For some reason though, my feet didn't move as they would have if approached by a random stranger. After a while i realized that they were trying to preach to me about the gospel and since i did have time to kill and i wanted to get my mind off things i agreed to sit with them in the middle of the mall. I had my guard up in the beginning. I didn't know them but they were approachable and super nice so i let them speak since i knew how it felt like to try to connect with someone and that person turns you down. As the three of us sat, and the two of them took turns reading to me out of this small pamphlet, i was intrigued by their eagerness to get through to me. I went to church when i was young, so i pretty much knew the things they were trying to say to me, but i also knew that i had lost faith along the way. Christianity was always in the back of my mind, but with all the priorities i had these days, i never really took the time to really think about it. While they were wrapping things up, they asked me how i felt about the things they said. It was in that moment that i just told them that i thought it was so weird that when i really needed someone to talk to, the two of them showed up. They were strangers, but at the same time, i felt so comfortable with them. It was such an amazing feeling because all this time, i tried to put on this front, i was hiding my feelings because i didn't want to break down. Yet, these two girls that i met literally five minutes ago, i found myself spilling my problems and then i started crying because i was so relieved to let it all out. It was indeed very embarrassing, taken that i was in the middle of the mall crying when i least expected to with these two gracious souls that understood exactly what i was going through. And i am truly, truly thankful that i ran into them today because if i haven't i wouldn't have reconnected with God and i wouldn't have been able to vent like i did today. They gave me their contact information and we exchanged hugs as we departed. And to think that they don't even live in the area! One of the girls was telling me that they were all assigned different areas and they even got lost coming here. And what were the chances that when they noticed me lugging my books wandering around aimlessly, i would miraculously turn in their direction? God does truly work in mysterious ways.

I didn't get to say good-bye to Claudia today and i was sad that she's not working with us anymore but like i said before, some people go away for a reason. It's kinda strange if you think about it. There would be this person you meet, things are going well, and for no apparent reason, this person is taken away from you. No warning and no sign. I'm going to miss all the endless laughing fits we had together, all the times we complained about the annoying customers we come across, and of course all those serious, meaningful talks we had about life. I am really going to miss all our inside jokes and turning down certain customers with her. I miss her already :(

Today after work, Eileen and I just sat in her car spending quality time together talking about endless topics. It felt good. Honestly, it was such a great, relaxing moment. There was no shit talking, no drama, it was just talking about our past, all the difficult times we had to go through, and we even threw in the future, talking about what we want to do with our lives when we grow up. The stories we shared gave us both teary eyes and talking about it made me sad but then we would start cracking up and hitting our knees when another story was brought up. All together, the feeling was indescribable and the people passing by would give us strange looks because we probably looked nuts crying and laughing at the same exact time. We didn't care though, because we knew no one outside the Camry would ever understand us.

Talking to her inspires me though, because i know she'll do great things. In a sense, i look up to the way she can do so well in school, spend time with her boyfriend, work so many hours, concentrate on her internship, have a relationship with both her parents and still be so humble and easy-going.

What a meaningful day.

think positive!

2008-09-10T19:30:00.000-07:00

After thirty minutes of deciding on the perfect name for my new blog i finally decided to go with 'ingenious jargon' only because #1 jargon is by far my favorite word in Webster's and #2 it was too plain to leave just one word as my title. Don't ask me how i came up with ingenious. After half an hour of exploring different words at www.thesaurus.com, the word ingenious reached the finish line first.

It's 7:41pm and I'm sitting at my granite counter top. I just finished having dinner thirty minutes ago with my brother. In front of us were chicken, fish, and vegetables. Yes, meant for four individuals, but tonight, only two showed up. The reason why i point this out, is because my dear mother was still unable to forgive my father for last night's weekly argument and my father, was in front of his computer trying to spite her. Therefore, my brother and I ate alone tonight, accompanied of course, by the ticking of our grandfather clock.

Hence, i then realized that most individuals these days are so unhappy with their lives. The student who just realizes the amount of homework that's assigned that day automatically complains about the hours lost of "having fun". The girlfriend who craves for her companion's attention complains to him about his lack of commitment towards their relationship. The employee complains to their regular customer about his annoying boss. The housewife complains to her friends about her inconsiderate husband and the amount of shit he puts her through. And of course, there's the everyday driver who complains about the red light that wasted 30 seconds of their lives.

And then i started thinking. What if every time we complain, we follow it up with something positive? Simultaneously trick our minds to automatically think of something positive when the negative detail decides to visit. And then when we think of the positive alternative we follow that with a smile, or possibly a laugh?

It was just last night that i began to realize the real effect of seeing someone else happy. I was at Guppies with my mom and we were sitting by the window able to look outside. A family sitting outside was right beside us. In the middle of scarfing down fried rice, my mom told me to look outside. She asked me to look at the family beside us who were all laughing. Although we couldn't hear what they were talking about because of the glass that kept us apart, it didn't matter. In fact, there was something different about this family. Outwardly, there was nothing perfect about this group. A man that looked to be the father was going bald. The little girl sitting cross-legged on the chair had stains on her shirt and mismatched socks. But in spite of all these negative aspects that they could have focused on, they seemed to have forgotten how to complain. As my mother and I continued to stare at them, i began to feel a new type of sensation. Their silent laughs began to dawn on me that this is the very minuscule of life that really matters.